02-05-2019, 10:06 PM
Best of luck @avni26
Avni26
(02-05-2019, 08:13 PM)Avni26 Wrote: Idhar Rohini badi besabri se dono ka wait kar rahi thi..
Uski dost Nisha ne kuch kapde diye the apne pehne ko, kyunki us ke pass abhi apne kapde nahi the.
And you know koi bhi ladki zyada detak gande kapde nahi pahan sakti... Hahah ;)
Abhi Rohini thodi relex thi aur is Waqt is dress me thi..
Avni26
![[Image: 20190503-062135.jpg]](https://i.ibb.co/gWxRqm2/20190503-062135.jpg)
![[Image: 20190503-063343.jpg]](https://i.ibb.co/Kb7xXYK/20190503-063343.jpg)
![[Image: 20190503-063453.jpg]](https://i.ibb.co/cxrktpN/20190503-063453.jpg)
Avni26
![[Image: 20190503-110731.jpg]](https://i.ibb.co/Q8FPRjW/20190503-110731.jpg)
Avni26
![[Image: 20190503-115356.jpg]](https://i.ibb.co/2FvVNFN/20190503-115356.jpg)
Avni26
![[Image: 20190503-122554.jpg]](https://i.ibb.co/9pmVJwB/20190503-122554.jpg)
Avni26
(03-05-2019, 12:28 PM)Jyoti Singh Wrote: Very small suggestion for, you may or may not be like it but the thing is that you should be try to write long sentences and long update that reader can start to settle down to story and understand the flow of your story. Just a small advice that please don't break your story to 4-5 lines and post, make it a enough big piece and post it. This will help you more to connect with readers. (this is optional because the story is not even started so ---- create a good flow of your story and elaborate the circumstances/situation which will help you more)
Avni26
(03-05-2019, 12:32 PM)Avni26 Wrote: Thanks Jyoti, I appreciate your suggestion.. As I am new and trying to write my first story so your suggestion will be helpful for me....
Aur please ye bhi bataye ki story line kaisi hai...
(03-05-2019, 12:38 PM)Jyoti Singh Wrote: Mujhe lesa lga ki tum kuch hadbadi me ho or story ki liye jaldi kr rhi ho,, esliye kha mene ki thoda settle hone do khud me settle ho jao... fir story ke flow ko samjho... aaram se thoda lanba or detailed situation likho (means kon kya soch rha h... uske aas pas kya chal rha h...kon kha betha h .. kya kr rah h... taki readers vo sam imagine kr sake). baki khud likhte likhte sikh jao.Ji bilkul dhyan dungi main aapke suggestion pe kyunki ye story abhi lambi ye abhi to apne actual track pe nahi aai hai.. Ye to bas base ban raha hai aage ki kahani ka... Kyunki isme ek major twist hai aage jo na suna hoga na kaha hoga kisi ne...
Avni26
(03-05-2019, 12:53 PM)Avni26 Wrote: Ji bilkul dhyan dungi main aapke suggestion pe kyunki ye story abhi lambi ye abhi to apne actual track pe nahi aai hai.. Ye to bas base ban raha hai aage ki kahani ka... Kyunki isme ek major twist hai aage jo na suna hoga na kaha hoga kisi ne...
![[Image: 20190503-134412.jpg]](https://i.ibb.co/tPxTWN1/20190503-134412.jpg)
![[Image: 20190503-134307.jpg]](https://i.ibb.co/8Nr8d7R/20190503-134307.jpg)
![[Image: 20190503-134241.jpg]](https://i.ibb.co/SV9bv4D/20190503-134241.jpg)
Avni26
Avni26
Avni26
(03-05-2019, 01:03 PM)Jyoti Singh Wrote: yes I understand that this is just staring but if you don't start with good writing then many of reader will not read the next update or many be they start ignoring this story ... that is why i am saying be careful at starting. Be a good writer. BTW always available for help anyone.
Avni26
(03-05-2019, 04:11 PM)Avni26 Wrote: Ab Aman ka. ling aazad tha use dekh ke Rohini ki ankho me chamak Aa jati hai pure ek saal ke baad wo koi hathyar dekh rahi thi...
Aman ke liye rukna aab mushkil tha wo bola:Jaan main tumhari plenty nikal doon kya.
Rohini:isme puchna kya hai jo tum chaho... Aaj me tumhari hoin puri tarah... Mujhe bhigo de apne prem ras me...
Aman Rohini ki penty nikal deta hai jisme Rohini apniAss utha ke uska Saath deti hai...
Ab dono ke jism pure nange the wo log bilkul apne natural form me the...
Rohini boli: tumne kabhi sex kiya hai pehle
Aman ne na msar hilaya...
Rohini boli :Kya tum meri yoni ko nahi chumoge...
Aman ne us ki aur dekha to bas dekhta reh gaya ekdam chamakti halki premras se bhigi hui Rohini ki yoni kisi hire se kam nahi rahi thi.. Ek bhi banahi tha uski yoni pe...
Apne aap hi Aman uski aur khichta chala gaya aur apne hoont Rohini ki yoni pe laga diye... Garam. Hooton ka sparsh pate hi Rohini sisak uthi aishhhhhhhhhhjj ahhhjjjjhhhh
Phir Aman kisi bacche ki tarah uski yoni chatne laga wo apne jeebh ko uski yoni se leta hua uske. Ass hole tak le ja raha tha, usne Rohini ke Asshole ko chumma aur usme bhi apne jeebh gusa thi.... Ye naya anubhav tha Rohini ke lie usne ek. Daam se apna pani chood diya, jab Aman ne yoni ko behta dekha to usne jhat se apni jeebh wahan laga ke usne peena shuru kar diya....
Uska halka khara taste use kisi amrut si kam nahi laga....
Ab Aman bola:Rohini ab mujh se nahi ruka ja raha.. Please mujhe guide karo ke kaise ye ling me tumhari. Yoni. Me daalon...
Ye Sun Rohini ko hasi Aa gai...
Wo boli theek hai....
Usne Aman ke ling ko apne haath me lya aur apni yoni pe sataya... Aur boli"Aman ab ise jhatka do aur meri yoni. Ke a der push karo...
Aman ne thoda zor lagaya aur uska thoda ling Rohini ki yoni ke a der chala gaya...
Bhale hi Rohini virgin nahi thi but virgin se kam bhi nahi thi,. Uski. Yoni abhi bhi tight thi....
Aman ne Phir zor se dhakka lagayae aur apna ling pura utar diya Rohini ki yoni me...
Ahhhhhhhhhhhjjjjjhhhhuuffffffffffffff
Rohini ki cheekh nikal gai...
Phir Aman.ne dhire dhire apni kamar hila a shuru kiya jis se uska ling a der bahar ho raha tha...
Rohini ko bhi ab maza aane laga tha....
Lekin Kyunki Aman ka ye first time tha aur wo bahut hi over exited tha isliye 15 min. Me jhad jata hai wo Rohini ki yoni me.....
Rohini bhi sperm ko apne a der feel karti hai... Aur ab Aman ka ling sikud kar Rohini ki yoni se bahar Aa jata hai aur Aman thak ke Rohini ke side me late jata ha..
Rohini use pyar se dekhte hai aur ek kiss uske gal pe kar ke wo bathroom me chali jati hai, halaki wo satisfy nahi hui thi. Par use pata tha ki ye Aman ka first time hai... Isliye usne bura nahi mana... Phir bhi use aaj kuch sakun mila tha...
Idhar Aman sochta hai"mene ye kya kiya, mujhe ye nahi karna chaye tha".
Phir wo kuch nishchya karta hai ane Maan me...
Rohini bahar aati hai bathroom se aur night dress pehne aur Aman ko dekhti hai wo kisi bacche ki tarah so raha hota hai...
Rohini ko Aman pe bahut pyar aata hai.. Aur wo ek kiss kar deti hai Aman ke lips pe..
Aur wo bhi bed pe let jati hai aur uski ankh lag jati hai...
Aaj ka din Rohini ke liye bahut bhari aur thakan wala tha...
Aur na jane ane wale din aur kitne rang dikhane wale the Rohini ko......
.....
(03-05-2019, 04:11 PM)Avni26 Wrote: Ab Aman ka. ling aazad tha use dekh ke Rohini ki ankho me chamak Aa jati hai pure ek saal ke baad wo koi hathyar dekh rahi thi...
Aman ke liye rukna aab mushkil tha wo bola:Jaan main tumhari plenty nikal doon kya.
Rohini:isme puchna kya hai jo tum chaho... Aaj me tumhari hoin puri tarah... Mujhe bhigo de apne prem ras me...
Aman Rohini ki penty nikal deta hai jisme Rohini apniAss utha ke uska Saath deti hai...
Ab dono ke jism pure nange the wo log bilkul apne natural form me the...
Rohini boli: tumne kabhi sex kiya hai pehle
Aman ne na msar hilaya...
Rohini boli :Kya tum meri yoni ko nahi chumoge...
Aman ne us ki aur dekha to bas dekhta reh gaya ekdam chamakti halki premras se bhigi hui Rohini ki yoni kisi hire se kam nahi rahi thi.. Ek bhi banahi tha uski yoni pe...
Apne aap hi Aman uski aur khichta chala gaya aur apne hoont Rohini ki yoni pe laga diye... Garam. Hooton ka sparsh pate hi Rohini sisak uthi aishhhhhhhhhhjj ahhhjjjjhhhh
Phir Aman kisi bacche ki tarah uski yoni chatne laga wo apne jeebh ko uski yoni se leta hua uske. Ass hole tak le ja raha tha, usne Rohini ke Asshole ko chumma aur usme bhi apne jeebh gusa thi.... Ye naya anubhav tha Rohini ke lie usne ek. Daam se apna pani chood diya, jab Aman ne yoni ko behta dekha to usne jhat se apni jeebh wahan laga ke usne peena shuru kar diya....
Uska halka khara taste use kisi amrut si kam nahi laga....
Ab Aman bola:Rohini ab mujh se nahi ruka ja raha.. Please mujhe guide karo ke kaise ye ling me tumhari. Yoni. Me daalon...
Ye Sun Rohini ko hasi Aa gai...
Wo boli theek hai....
Usne Aman ke ling ko apne haath me lya aur apni yoni pe sataya... Aur boli"Aman ab ise jhatka do aur meri yoni. Ke a der push karo...
Aman ne thoda zor lagaya aur uska thoda ling Rohini ki yoni ke a der chala gaya...
Bhale hi Rohini virgin nahi thi but virgin se kam bhi nahi thi,. Uski. Yoni abhi bhi tight thi....
Aman ne Phir zor se dhakka lagayae aur apna ling pura utar diya Rohini ki yoni me...
Ahhhhhhhhhhhjjjjjhhhhuuffffffffffffff
Rohini ki cheekh nikal gai...
Phir Aman.ne dhire dhire apni kamar hila a shuru kiya jis se uska ling a der bahar ho raha tha...
Rohini ko bhi ab maza aane laga tha....
Lekin Kyunki Aman ka ye first time tha aur wo bahut hi over exited tha isliye 15 min. Me jhad jata hai wo Rohini ki yoni me.....
Rohini bhi sperm ko apne a der feel karti hai... Aur ab Aman ka ling sikud kar Rohini ki yoni se bahar Aa jata hai aur Aman thak ke Rohini ke side me late jata ha..
Rohini use pyar se dekhte hai aur ek kiss uske gal pe kar ke wo bathroom me chali jati hai, halaki wo satisfy nahi hui thi. Par use pata tha ki ye Aman ka first time hai... Isliye usne bura nahi mana... Phir bhi use aaj kuch sakun mila tha...
Idhar Aman sochta hai"mene ye kya kiya, mujhe ye nahi karna chaye tha".
Phir wo kuch nishchya karta hai ane Maan me...
Rohini bahar aati hai bathroom se aur night dress pehne aur Aman ko dekhti hai wo kisi bacche ki tarah so raha hota hai...
Rohini ko Aman pe bahut pyar aata hai.. Aur wo ek kiss kar deti hai Aman ke lips pe..
Aur wo bhi bed pe let jati hai aur uski ankh lag jati hai...
Aaj ka din Rohini ke liye bahut bhari aur thakan wala tha...
Aur na jane ane wale din aur kitne rang dikhane wale the Rohini ko......
.....
(03-05-2019, 04:11 PM)Avni26 Wrote: Ab Aman ka. ling aazad tha use dekh ke Rohini ki ankho me chamak Aa jati hai pure ek saal ke baad wo koi hathyar dekh rahi thi...
Aman ke liye rukna aab mushkil tha wo bola:Jaan main tumhari plenty nikal doon kya.
Rohini:isme puchna kya hai jo tum chaho... Aaj me tumhari hoin puri tarah... Mujhe bhigo de apne prem ras me...
Aman Rohini ki penty nikal deta hai jisme Rohini apniAss utha ke uska Saath deti hai...
Ab dono ke jism pure nange the wo log bilkul apne natural form me the...
Rohini boli: tumne kabhi sex kiya hai pehle
Aman ne na msar hilaya...
Rohini boli :Kya tum meri yoni ko nahi chumoge...
Aman ne us ki aur dekha to bas dekhta reh gaya ekdam chamakti halki premras se bhigi hui Rohini ki yoni kisi hire se kam nahi rahi thi.. Ek bhi banahi tha uski yoni pe...
Apne aap hi Aman uski aur khichta chala gaya aur apne hoont Rohini ki yoni pe laga diye... Garam. Hooton ka sparsh pate hi Rohini sisak uthi aishhhhhhhhhhjj ahhhjjjjhhhh
Phir Aman kisi bacche ki tarah uski yoni chatne laga wo apne jeebh ko uski yoni se leta hua uske. Ass hole tak le ja raha tha, usne Rohini ke Asshole ko chumma aur usme bhi apne jeebh gusa thi.... Ye naya anubhav tha Rohini ke lie usne ek. Daam se apna pani chood diya, jab Aman ne yoni ko behta dekha to usne jhat se apni jeebh wahan laga ke usne peena shuru kar diya....
Uska halka khara taste use kisi amrut si kam nahi laga....
Ab Aman bola:Rohini ab mujh se nahi ruka ja raha.. Please mujhe guide karo ke kaise ye ling me tumhari. Yoni. Me daalon...
Ye Sun Rohini ko hasi Aa gai...
Wo boli theek hai....
Usne Aman ke ling ko apne haath me lya aur apni yoni pe sataya... Aur boli"Aman ab ise jhatka do aur meri yoni. Ke a der push karo...
Aman ne thoda zor lagaya aur uska thoda ling Rohini ki yoni ke a der chala gaya...
Bhale hi Rohini virgin nahi thi but virgin se kam bhi nahi thi,. Uski. Yoni abhi bhi tight thi....
Aman ne Phir zor se dhakka lagayae aur apna ling pura utar diya Rohini ki yoni me...
Ahhhhhhhhhhhjjjjjhhhhuuffffffffffffff
Rohini ki cheekh nikal gai...
Phir Aman.ne dhire dhire apni kamar hila a shuru kiya jis se uska ling a der bahar ho raha tha...
Rohini ko bhi ab maza aane laga tha....
Lekin Kyunki Aman ka ye first time tha aur wo bahut hi over exited tha isliye 15 min. Me jhad jata hai wo Rohini ki yoni me.....
Rohini bhi sperm ko apne a der feel karti hai... Aur ab Aman ka ling sikud kar Rohini ki yoni se bahar Aa jata hai aur Aman thak ke Rohini ke side me late jata ha..
Rohini use pyar se dekhte hai aur ek kiss uske gal pe kar ke wo bathroom me chali jati hai, halaki wo satisfy nahi hui thi. Par use pata tha ki ye Aman ka first time hai... Isliye usne bura nahi mana... Phir bhi use aaj kuch sakun mila tha...
Idhar Aman sochta hai"mene ye kya kiya, mujhe ye nahi karna chaye tha".
Phir wo kuch nishchya karta hai ane Maan me...
Rohini bahar aati hai bathroom se aur night dress pehne aur Aman ko dekhti hai wo kisi bacche ki tarah so raha hota hai...
Rohini ko Aman pe bahut pyar aata hai.. Aur wo ek kiss kar deti hai Aman ke lips pe..
Aur wo bhi bed pe let jati hai aur uski ankh lag jati hai...
Aaj ka din Rohini ke liye bahut bhari aur thakan wala tha...
Aur na jane ane wale din aur kitne rang dikhane wale the Rohini ko......
.....